Around Whalley.

 Tuesday 13th August 2024.

This will be my first walk since getting back from Scotland. 

I have been having private CBT treatment in Didsbury, Manchester. It has been a huge help and although, as I posted previously, anxiety cannot be cured, only managed. 

I am now managing. A lot of the dread has been lifted and I feel in a better place so we decided to go for a couple of nights away. Not far from home.

The walk I picked started straight from the hotel we stayed at which was the Foxfield Country Hotel between Whalley and Langho.

From the hotel we turned left, passed the Artisan Restaurant where a track turns left through farm buildings with lots of chickens roaming free. Once over the railway bridge we came to gates with a stile on the right and on the left was this post planting machine. (Photo below).

Post setting Machine made in USA.

Woods Brothers Brick. Relatively modern as bricks go, founded in 1938. 

Zeter 7745 Tractor. 4 wheel drive, Made in Czechoslovakia from 1988-1972.

3.9 litre engine with 54 hp.

Railway Line from Manchester to Clitheroe.

Over the stile we handrail the fence on the right into the corner of the field where we crossed another stile into a field containing lots of sheep at this time of the year. The sheep were mainly sheltering as it was quite a warm windless day but as we approached they do what sheep do and got up and scattered.

We followed the left hand fence round to the far corner to another stile. Once into the next field ignore the stile on the right and head up hill. Continuing to a gate where we joined the Whalley Old Road. 

Turning left we continued until we came to Hollin Hall and a footpath sign post on the right. The road is not too busy but the cars were going at a fair old pace considering it is a narrow road.

Stoneyhurst College.

View West towards Longridge.

The path up hill is quite steep but the views open up as we made progress. We had a good view of Stoneyhurst College and across to Pendle Hill.

We crossed a small wooded area which led us to a gate stile and onto Moor Lane which is also part of the Ribble Valley Jubilee Way. It is a pleasant "road" to walk with hardly any traffic at all except for local farm community. Again the views were excellent. Along here we met a lady day walker who lived in Langho. We walked and chatted for 10 minutes until our paths diverted. 

When we came to a "T" junction we turned left with Brierleys farm in front of us. The driveway to the farm was particularly pleasant with all the flowers in bloom. The road downhill is steep and I was looking for a footpath sign on the right which would keep us on the Jubilee trail. Good views can be had of the railway viaduct and its 48 arches. Known locally as the Arches.

Drive to Brierley farm.

Whalley Arches, built between 1848 and 1850. 600yds long. 6 million bricks and 12,000 cu yds of stone were used in the construction. There were 3 deaths also.

We came to a very nice detached house with a footpath sign pointing up the drive. I checked the map and we were in the right place but we pondered about whether or not the sign was right as the right of way would take us right through their garden with patio furniture and right infront of the house windows. 

There was a robot lawn mower working as we passed the house and I thought we might be told we were on the wrong path but no, there was a gate with a Jubilee badge just passed the house. I cannot say I would be happy with the weekend hikers or us for that matter walking through my garden whilst I was eating al fresco. But I guess the people knew there was a right of way when the house was built and good on them for not making it difficult to find our way through. 

Looking down to Whalley.

Anyway, into the next field we contoured the obvious line round to our right where we picked up a good track leading to a wooded area. At the fence we turned left down through Nab Wood to the main road and bridge over the River Calder at Whalley.

Whalley Main Street was quite busy and we spotted many high end motor vehicles. Porsches, Bentleys, Mercedes etc. Obviously the money people live here. We crossed the bridge and turned right down a side street which led to a vantage point to view the weir. Across the river was the unusual house called  The Marjoire, it looks ecclesiastical in design but it seems to have posed a mystery for centuries as to where the name came from. It was a farm with a dairy at one point.

The Calder Bridge at Whalley

The Marjorie farm house.

From here we made our way further down the high street until we spotted Holdens Coffee shop and Deli where we stopped for refreshment. Very nice too. (we didn't have cake).

On our way again we crossed the main road taking a side street on the left which winds its way passed the entrance to Whalley Abbey. Before the Abbey is reached we had a quick look around the Church.

St. Mary's and All Saints Church, Whalley.

The foundation stone for the building of the Abbey was in 1330. We didn't go in and visit the Abbey as we had done it on previous visits. The Abbey now has accommodation and is a Retreat and Conference centre.

The old gatehouse was infront of us and The Arches were behind it. We stopped off briefly to have a look in the gardens of the English Martyr's RC church. Beyond The Arches our route turns left and crosses the river but today and for the foreseeable future the path is closed to all for refurb work. There was no detour provided by the council whilst work continues so we had a dilemma. What do we do.

The closed footpath alongside the Arches covered with white plastic sheeting.

I checked the map and to the west was an "A" road which crosses the river and the path we were on led to it. We walked along until we came to the road but there was no access at all from the path to the road. So we had to turn back.

Along the way Sheila asked a local if there was an alternate route across the Calder but there was only the bridge in Whalley which we had crossed earlier. It was a disappointment to have to retrace our steps but there we go.

We backtracked and had a pretty boring road walk back to the hotel. One good point was that we passed the Old Abbey Corn Mill site built 1837. Now apartments but the water wheel still functions.

It was 12km and took us 4 hrs with plenty of stops.

Anxiety and a clear vision moving forward.

 27th June 2024

Anyone who has read my blog posts recently about our trip to Scotland will have probably made the assumption we had a wonderful time. In one respect there is some truth to that but there is much much more to it and it isn't all good.

In 2019 as I posted then, I suffered a massive system shutdown, as though my brain went "TILT". I was a mess, such a mess that anyone who has no experience of anxiety would be in total shock. I couldn't move much, I wasn't able to eat or even speak at times. As I wrote then if it wasn't for Sheila there is a high probability I wouldn't be here now.

The NHS didn't help and I went for private CBT treatment at a clinic in Manchester. It took a while but eventually I improved to a point where I could go out. When I say a while I mean the best part of a year.

Then we had the covid lockdowns which didn't help because at that time I was retraining myself to make trips away from home. You have to retrain your brain as though you are starting life again. 

By the end of 2022 I would say I was doing well, although there is no cure for anxiety i was handling most things well because of my CBT training, that is apart from having to plan trips and execute the plan. Like going to Greece for example, I would have to make the train journey to the airport the day before we were supposed to travel so that I could reduce the fear factor the next day. I slept most of the flights but once I had got to our destination I would settle down, that is until a few days before we had to come home when the dread would return.

Then in early 2023 I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. The devastating news, especially not having any symptoms at all turns your world upside down. It takes over your life. I was very lucky to have fantastic people at McMillans and Oldham Christie’s where I went through a course of radiotherapy. This knocks you for six and makes you very tired. One minute I felt great and the next I was completely zapped of energy and had to sleep. My confidence also took a hit. 

In the early months of 2024 Sheila said she wanted to do the West Highland Way. I pulled my face and said why? There's thousands of people and it's not hard. But I said ok as long as we do it early before the holiday season and the midge season.

I started packing the rucksacks, trying to find all the gear which hadn't been used for a while. Then once I had packed mine I started packing Sheila's with the same gear list. After a few days I would change the gear as all the negative thoughts started to take over. That sleeping bag will not do, those boots are too old, that waterproof is past it, we haven't got enough food etc etc etc.

I was waking up in the night in a mess worrying endlessly. Night after night.

Eventually, I said to Sheila "I cannot do this trip". Even though I knew I could do it physically and that 99% of what we worry about never happens. Sheila knew it was a hard decision for me to make but it was the right one.

So we went to Glasgow for a short break, without the stress of driving, Sheila did all the bookings, the hotel and the train. I still had a dread cloud hanging over me and the start of the train journey was not easy. But I did it and we enjoyed Glasgow a lot.

So I rekindled the WHW walk which again after a few weeks I said "its no good I can't do it".

Why don't we do another walk where we don't have to be at a place by a certain time. Where there is no pressure, we can stop or change tack at any point, Sheila suggested.

I had a think about it and decided that a 4-5 day backpack which I had planned ages ago would be a possibility. It was walk from Inveroran to Glen Etive, Walk from Glen Etive over Laraig Gartain to Glencoe, Walk the WHW back to Inveroran.  

I planned it, packed for it, bought food for it, downloaded maps, bought new paper maps, checked bus times along the A82, then bang........ it all started again, the same negative thoughts the same sleepless nights, the same old anxiety telling me that I can't do it. 

I fought it, day in and day out. Trying to beat the anxiety, telling myself over and over again that it was nothing but a nice walk where we can stop at any time, where there are lots of bail out points and nothing to be overly worried about.

Sheila thoughtfully decided that booking a hotel in Tyndrum on the day we travel would be a good stress reliever and if I couldn't do the walk we could just go home. That night I felt ok to a point, with just the usual butterflies everyone gets.

Come the morning I woke early and I realised I couldn't set off. Anxiety had beaten me.

A decision was made to book another night in a hotel and to go for a day walk which would clear my head of negativity and hopefully positivity would result. We did the WHW south from Tyndrum, walked the Sheep Trail then walked back. It was a nice day walk, I had no problems. I felt ok.

That evening though, I regressed and I said I know now that I cannot do this anymore, I cannot keep putting both of us through this pressure. We went over and over different scenario's, different ideas, different places and hotels. Just do day walks, don't backpack. It was getting all too much.

We stayed in Tyndrum another night and Sheila tentatively booked a hotel in Fort William because I said if we set off and anxiety beats me we can return and go and check in a hotel. It was agreed.

The next day we walked from Tyndrum to Bridge of Orchy and back. I really enjoyed it. I was positive and had the feeling that if we just set off backpacking everything will fall into place and get back to normal.

We drove to Inveroran, parked the car and set off. I felt ok but towards the end of the day I was saying to myself "why are you doing this". It just wasn't right. I was lacking patience, a bit snappy and I wasn't in my usual happy place when I'm camping in a most beautiful place. 

In the morning, even though it was such a wonderful day I wasn't interested in going on. I didn't want the weight on my back, didn't want the wet gear, didn't want to be always kneeling down or lying on one elbow and loosing everything in a small tent. I decided there and then that this trip has proven to me that it is my last backpacking trip. It is time to call it a day. The anxiety is far to hard to beat and totally unfair on Sheila and I have to change the way I live so that I reduce the pressure on both of us.

The way forward for us right now is to do day walks, with a day sack and a comfortable retreat at the end. That's the plan anyway. 

I know other people suffer from anxiety, some not as bad but some are worse and I hope they read this to know that they are not alone and making life changing decisions can be really really painful process. But all I can say is talk about it, be brave and make the decision which suits your situation......

Backpacking Loch Dochard. Day.2

 Friday June 14th.

I was having a poor sleep due to the deflated mat problems. My back was aching.

I was woken up by Sheila, she was already up and trying to get me to get up and see the sunrise. It was 4.02am. I said no chance or something like that but the constant chatter eventually wore me down, so I looked out of the tent door and said "oh yes, very nice"'. It wasn't a good sunrise but it was a lovely morning.

Mist was drifting across the Loch, sometimes it was a thick fog bank then a ghostly mist. It was lovely to see and it certainly made up for the walk in yesterday in the rain.

We watched the ever changing scene and heard the strange call of Loons somewhere in the mist. It really was a magical time and I was glad I did get up in the end.  

Eventually the mist started to clear as the sun rose, we were treated to amazing cloud inversions. We must have said Wow fifty times. If you don't backpack then it would be difficult to see views like this.

I went to fill the water bottles from our little beach, there was a patch of flattened grass about 2 metres in diameter that wasn't there when we went to sleep. Then I noticed deer tracks in the sand that also were not there last night. A deer must have slept about 40ft away from us and we heard nothing except a dog fox barking.

I made porridge for breakfast which had been prepared at home containing Psyllium husk, chia seeds a little salt and a little sugar and after a welcome coffee we started packing up.. The tent was quite wet so it was sponged down to remove as much water as possible. I find the Spunj brand ideal for this job. They are fantastically absorbent.

After checking our pitch that we had left no trace but flattened grass we started off back to Inveroran.

My first sight of the sunrise from the tent door.

The morning was quickly turning into a stunner with blue skies and no need for waterproofs. Such a contrast from yesterday and what a beautiful place.

When we gained the height at the watershed we stopped for a while to take in the beauty. The air was still and warm. We could hear the birds in the forestry to our right and the sound of a waterfall to our left. How good does it get. We were filled with nostalgia, so happy to be here but so sad to be walking out.

Looking East

Looking West.

We arrived at the wobbly bridge and this time took it to follow a good path although very boggy in places to a high stile into the forestry. Once in the forest the path becomes much better and it is a better route than we took on the inward walk.

At the end of the forestry another stile is climbed leading back to the river. We found a very shallow spot just slightly up stream so we didn't need to use the stepping stones this time.

The beauty of this return journey was just so fantastic. No words are necessary.

Just as we approached the Clashgour hut we passed the first person we had seen. Another backpacker, he wasn't the chatty type. Hardly said hello. On a day like this we wasn't bothered. We did pass another person, a lady with her dog who did have a little chat with us. She was going to bag Stob Ghabhar and possibly Sron a Ghearrain, both over 900 metres.

View from the bridge near Forest Lodge.

Our camp spot for the night would be beside the river next to the bridge at Inveroran. This is now a popular spot with West Highland Way campers and the glampers from what we saw.

The amount of rubbish here was a disgrace. We picked up a whole bin bag full of "crap" including tent poles, tent bags, beer bottles and tops, compeed cases and litter of many descriptions. People who had open fires had just left the rest of half burned wood and even fence posts.

We tided up the site completely which took us half an hour and then put the rubbish in the large bin at the Inveroran hotel. Only then did we pitch our tent and fortunately we were neighbour free all night.

The site at Inveroran after the clean up.

The meal we had in the hotel was absolutely superb. One of the nicest meals I have had anywhere. 

We really enjoyed our couple of hours here chatting to bikers and hikers from abroad. One couple had made the mistake of booking the wrong Kingshouse for their next section of the way. To get a taxi to the wrong place and back was going to cost them £180 and a room at the right Kingshouse was going to cost £360.  How does a room cost £360! for one night excluding breakfast? What do you get there that you don't get at the Premier Inn for less than £100? (Apart from the view). It's crazy. I suppose it is supply and demand and of course to keep out Riff and Raff.

Anyway, post rant, while we were enjoying the hotel the heavens opened. The rain was absolutely torrential, the gutters were flowing like waterfalls and you couldn't see far out of the windows. I thought the tent might get washed away but it coped like it was designed to do.

What a fantastic day we had.