A Kinder English Summer

Dawn of light lying between a silence and solid sources,
Chased amid fusions of wonder, in moments hardly seen forgotten Coloured in pastures of chance dancing leaves cast spells of challenge, Amused but real in thought, we fled from the sea, whole. Dawn of thought transfered through moments of days undersearching earth Revealing corridors of time provoking memories, disjointed but with purpose,Craving penetrations offer links with the self instructor's sharp and tender love as we took to the air, a picture of distance.



The words of Jon Anderson came rushing to me as i grabbed hold of a petrified root, PETRIFIED!
Not as petrified as me.
Lynsey, our leader, has a shelter with her, JJ said. I hope it’s a bus shelter i thought, but i don’t think that rucksack is big enough.
I don’t think we are going to make it all the way round, well at least not before the pubs shut or it goes dark,Lynsey said.
There’s only one thing for it! 
Oh look, a helicopter, Its a shinook. What a star that Lynsey is.
She has arranged us a lift. Hang on, ay up, were here. 
It’s not stopping, obviously the “H” wasn’t big enough. Actually the H wasn’t there at all apart from in the mind. 
I thought, stuff Bear Grylls i’ll walk out of here.


Soft summer mover distance mine
Called out a tune but I never saw the face
Heard but not replaced
I ventured to talk, but I never lost my place
Cast out a spell rendered for the light of day
Lost in lights array
Clearly to be home
Getting over wars we do not mean
Call out all our memories
Clearly, to be home


Lets take a bearing i heard said. A bearing! You mean that plastic thing with a needle on that i have carried around with me for 40 yrs is going to see the light of day.Were going to take a short cut!


OK, right. Hold it level, dust it off, see that red bit, well we don’t want that, we want the other bit, we want south, well just a bit left of south actually. 
What across there! Yep, but but........i’m going to get me boots all dirty and me mam will tell me off.....and, and i’ll have to peel the spuds for a week. 
My thoughts fell on deaf ears. Lyndsey has a map, well thank Fred for that. 
Lets have a look, Yep its a map but it doesn’t make any sense, it could have been a map of Finland for all i knew i didn’t have my glasses.


Right then, lets go south, if the ducks can do it so can us three. 
Oh bugger were are they, i looked back, i couldn’t see anyone. Sugar, they’ve gone another way, no, no there they are. 
How did they get in front? No it’s not them, its the Duke of Edinburgh i think, or 5 of his contemporaries looking to commit suicide.


Damn, this peat is warm, my chin and nose was meeting it up front. Smells a bit as well. Who’s idea was this! I was quite happy dreaming.


Talk to the sunlight caller
More Jon Anderson came to mind as i checked the plastic thingy, only to find it had turned 45 degrees, it must have broke or something and it was getting very lonely up here.. Stand on a dry bit Alan and find out where they are.
A dry bit! Come on, this is Kinder plateau. The land that time forgot. And they are damning it up with plastic, and re-seeding it, and claiming government grants and and oh flaming ell i’m stuck. Help!


It’s a hap hap happy day. I could hear JJ singing, but no signs of life, then out of a river bed came two in red! Hey what’s that brown stuff down yer legs. It’s erm?, Peat. Lets stop for a brew.
Lets find a dry bit. What!


Oh joy. At least it’s stopped raining. For the last 3 hours we had seen nothing but the preverbal hand in front of the face. There’s blue sky, look. There’s an optometrist in Manchester too i thought.


Do you fancy going for a walk on Wednesday i emailed JJ. Well, yes but, no but, you can come with Lynsey and me if you like. Lynsay’s got a lovely walk planned that she got out of the best walks guide. Was that best Guide Dog walks i was thinking as the suction was trying to rid me of my boots. Thank God i didn’t choose trail shoes today or i would have been bare footed by now. Keep south, keep south, that’s it.


Look at them clouds. 


How far is it across, i shouted. About a mile i think, or about 5 miles as the duck waddles. Ok, we have been waddling for about a hour now. Where’s the path? Somewhere in the middle. Ok, well it must have sunk because there’s Crowden Tower, an obvious landmark. (Well obvious if you know it.) Just a bloody crag if you don’t.


Look at them there clouds. 


Have you put new batteries in, Lyndsey said, and can you do a rendition of Singing in the rain with that GoLite brolley or have you carried it just for effect. 
Get the camera out.


Look at them clouds, or is it night time. 
No, it’s only 3.30pm. What’s that approaching from the Winnets. I don’t like the look of that.
It’s British summer approaching rapidly. Well it’s not nice.


Get the brolly up. What’s that there..... it’s a teddy bear on a cairn. Your going do lally. Where’s that straight jacket.


What’s that there! er.. it’s our train..


How did we miss it. We didn’t miss it. It's come at the wrong time. I’ve got a smart phone with an App. Pity it’s not a smart owner i was thinking. But i was wrong.
It was indeed smart. 
This App, stands for apparition. Princess Leia told us that there was a delay of about 40 minutes because of signal failure and that trains were backed up, the driver Cyril was not happy and the edges of the sandwiches were getting all curly and that Sheffield was that way, and, and.
 And that the beer needed changing because 3 others had come into the pub. And the bar maid wanted to marry JJ, I think it was that way round anyway. But i could be wrong.


Look more blue sky.


It’s been a grand day out hasn’t it Alan, remarked JJ. I was digging out the peat from under my nails. I’ve bagged it to feed the roses on when i get home. If....


Shift that pint Homer, the trains coming, says Princess Leia. Glug.


Text...meet you in the Ape and Apple and i will get you a pint in Sheila says. What a wonderful day. If only i had said no to the walk.......


JJ, the taxi from Piccadilly to John Dalton St. Cost me £6. (JJ had had a bit of a winge that he had been charged £6 from deepest Cheshire to Manchester return.)


You might be wondering where the photographs are. Well the camera SD card is being petrified as i type. Princess Leia is being mortified and JJ couldn’t give a clog dancers ferret.


Getting over overhanging trees,
let them rape the forest, they might stand and leave them. 
Stop singing Alan you’ll have it raining.




So. Here are some pics and more can be found here.
 And the moral for this walk.
 “Never go on a challenge with somebody who thinks Sheffield is west of Edale”


Thanks to JJ, Lynsey and Sheila for a truly entertaining day.

 Are we lost JJ?.  You’ve got the map Lynsey, you tell me.

Honest Love, that black bit fits in the hand. That pointed bit goes in the ground. 

What! How do you mean you find it comfier between your knees? 

No wonder you had cramp on the Challenge.

 JJ’s not smiling here. Those are actually real tears.

 What part of south do you not understand.........

dark lours the tempest that howls overhead

 Homeward bound. (Red must be the new black)

JJ, look at what you missed. £1.50 a pint.

There will undoubtedly be 2 other different versions of events of today and they will eventually be found here and here.


Nous sommes du soleil.